she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
