Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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