well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
