Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
