So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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