Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
