yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
