My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
