I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
