We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize