hell yes lets make some ravioli
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize