I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
