haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Couch. On fire.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
