I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
