You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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