I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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