Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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