He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I will pee on everything he values.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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