They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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