She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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