Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
