i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
