He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am puke
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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