My nipple is on Facebook.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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