There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
