i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
