seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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