ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
