just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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