He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
