As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
