i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
