See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
