and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
