I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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