this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize