does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
