so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Did I show you my penis last night?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
