So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
