508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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