My room smells like vodka and shame
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize