i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
