How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
