In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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