I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I DEMAND FORESKIN
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
