Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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