Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
