god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
did you just send me my own nude
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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