Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
