The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just pee around me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
