I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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