And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
