Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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