Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
