Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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