i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
