Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
