i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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