ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
