the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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