Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
