so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
