Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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