i already hear my dad disowning me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
