Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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