My liver just broke up with me...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
