I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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