I heard we made out
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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