the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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