Little spoons don't ask big questions
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
