so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
