im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
