Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Nicole vs. Life
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
