I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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