we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
