maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
